Confessions of a Lakers Fan

Let's get this out of the way first: I have not watched a single game in these NBA Finals for longer than 10 minutes. It's not just that I hate watching them lose. This season I actually hate watching them play. For those of you who know me, you know that this is impossible. I bleed purple and gold. I grew up going to the Great Western Forum to watch Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Michael Cooper, Kurt Rambis, and Norm Nixon. But I gotta say this: this year's Laker team is the most unlikeable squad since (ironically), the 1990 Detroit team that beat the Lakers in the Finals. That team featured the two most hated men in basketball history, Bill Lambier and Dennis Rodman. Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of Shaq (on the court), Devean George, Derek Fisher, and Luke Walton. And Kobe is the best player in the game (and a total asshole). But Gary Payton is the Antichrist. Karl Malone is the world's first black redneck. Rick Fox is just weird and gross. I think the departure of Robert "Will Smith" Horry was the end of the last great Laker era. It's time to rebuild. I think the Pistons' Darvin Ham put it best in today's New York Times. "You'd have to be blind not to see it. They focus on who's getting shots and who's doing this and whose team it is. Whoever's on that roster, they all have a stake in that team. They should represent the group instead of trying to rep themselves." True dat. In the end, the nausea I feel at the prospect of massive dickhead Rasheed Wallace getting a ring subsides every time I think about massive coolguy Ben Wallace getting one at the same time. Now if only the Lakers could get Steve Nash...